I could never think of a good comeback. To this day, his words make me self-conscious when I buy toilet paper. Before this happened, I was hoping nobody would notice my toilet paper and draw conclusions from it, but my friend shattered my illusions. People do see it, and they know why I am buying it.
My secret shame is exposed. I confess. I go to this little room in the house and lock the door and I do things in there, things no civilised person should want to imagine. Worst of all, I do it every day.