“We are selling the Falklands to save defence cost and to get some cash out of those godforsaken barren islands,” Prime Minister Cameron told parliament. “We consider the sale to be a prudent austerity measure, with the burden of defending and subsidising the islands now transferred to someone else. And frankly we don’t care who that someone is,” said the prime minister.In a secret by invitation only auction, the British government solicited bids from interested parties. “Argentina refused to bid, saying they would not pay to get stolen goods back,” said Cameron. “This left Brazil and Chile, both of whom wanted to annoy Argentina,” said Cameron. “But Brazil dropped out due to budget restraints, which left Chile with the winning bid.”
Tension immediately rose between the two South American neighbours, with Argentina accusing Chile of treason and illegal occupation of Argentinian territory. In Chile, meanwhile, the population was satisfied with having outmaneuvered their arch enemy to the east. “That should teach those arrogant Tinos,” said an editorial in El Mercurio.
In Port Stanley, islanders welcomed the sale, saying it at least got the Argentinians off their backs.
Included in the sale is 2,000 English-speaking farmers, 700,000 sheep and two nuclear submarines.